i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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