Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i think i have herpe
just one?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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