Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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