you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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