Your dad touched me again.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
