ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
