come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
