i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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