Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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