Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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