You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You are a genius and a whore.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
