yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I want to fling myself into the sun
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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