nut hugger
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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