you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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