booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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