is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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