who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
