"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
