I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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