am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
