we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
