i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
