We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
