Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
