Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
we should paint friendship bongs
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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