we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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