He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
