The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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