Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
