she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
