I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
