bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
