I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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