somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
