they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
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