Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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