fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
