You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
