This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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