He uses pillows to masturbate.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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