saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Randomize
