he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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