As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
