I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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