sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Randomize
