I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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