I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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