Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
