When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
This show inspires me to have sex in space
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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