Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
