Pappa wants mamma naked
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Randomize
