Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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