it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
